OMG! I am so frustrated. I am tired of hearing my daughter coughing and wheezing every time she takes a breath. Yesterday it took three breaths just say the word "cold" to me, not tell me that she was cold, that's too many words. I HATE seeing her like that, more like I hate hearing it. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE both of my daughters very much. What I hate and get irritated by is the fact that I took her to the doctors office to get her checked out and they did absolutely NOTHING! Nothing at all. From the MA to the PA, they all got on my bad side, actually, in that include the PT at Wal-Mart. The MA seemed new, I hadn't seen him there before, so he had no idea how to take her weight or height. An MA with more experience came in to show him how it was done. Then there was the PA, who kept us waiting, heard her crying and pretty much called it a consultation because he "wasn't gonna be able to hear her lungs with all her loud cries." WTF?! Really? Then why did I just spend almost two hours in the waiting room if he wasn't gonna tell me anything? Gave me a prescription for cough syrup, if she's not any better by Friday, go back. Yeah, cause I shit money and can afford to go back that often. Why not just take a good look at her?
UGH Ugh ugh. I need to get the fuck outta the Valley. If it's not something in the air it's the fat that we have some crappy ass doctors. Maybe a combination of both. YUP, I think it's definitely a combination. Whatever it is, my daughters heart and breathing conditions might improve if I manage to get them outta the Central Valley. I'd miss California if I did leave but watching my daughters grow up healthy would so be worth losing all my childhood memories.

Day 8

The temptation to color is very high right now. Why couldn't this last color just stay in? My hair is plotting against me for all the torture I've put it through in the last three years. Awww. So I get a message on myspace from an OLD friend (Not really "old" but we've been friends for a while, we're only 25) yesterday with her number and the words "find a sitter for a couple hours tomorrow." I text her, results: Get together in Hanford today at 5.

I have to show up to see my high school friends with my hair looking like this:

WTF am I supposed to do with it. Most of them are moms now too so they should understand right, WRONG! None of them have let themselves go like I have. They remained the fashionistas they were way back when. I never was stylish in high school, but after eight years you'd think I'd grow up and get some sense in me right? We'll let them be the judges tonight, and I KNOW they will judge, it was in our nature back then and will probably always be a part of a females life. Someday my hair will regain some of its strength. Someday I WILL have normal looking hair, maybe even attractive. Someday I will be able to do this with it: Chances are by the time that happens, this trend will be long gone and the new "IT" do will be fried and over processed. Until then, I must go soak it in a mask of egg, mayonnaise, avocado and olive oil to help it (I hope) out a little on it's recovery.

On a journey towards decent hair

I'm on day #7 without a dramatic (or slight) change to my hair. AAAAAGGHH! Hair color withdrawl. I think I am at the point where I can officially accept the fact that I am addicted to changing my hair. Downside of that, I have approximately 1.5 inches of healthy hair at the top of my head. The WHOLE top part of my head is so bad it tangles into itself as soon as it starts to dry. I'd compare it to hay but hay might just be a tad bit softer.
So why the decision to go the recommended six weeks without coloring? Well, because about two weeks ago, I decided to darken it to a level 4ish maybe 3 in hopes that it would help cover up that hay-like effect i have going on. I've known for a lot longer that my hair was in a horrible state but I didn't stop.
It took, for about three shampoos. Then the blonde started to peek through, with a green tint to it! So of course, me being the color freak I am, went in with a level five warm brown. Guess what? A week later it's falling out again. :( That's when you know your hair is way too over processed, time to reconstruct. So for the next six weeks it'll be outgrowth city for me. Six very LONG agonizing weeks! Some people think that this time frame is too short, for me, it's WAY too long to stick with the same color. Wish me luck on this month and a half journey.